Where the heck have I been? Well, for one I've been dealing with the mess caused by the director of our agency. Who knew that me standing on my soapbox and talking about the trauma my daughter suffered would bring SO many other people out of the woodwork. I have come to know many people who have suffered because of this man and I am thankful that we are coming together to formulate a plan. If you are interested (or have something to share about your J. Harding experience) just email me and we can chat. Otherwise I don't want to waste another second of time on him. It is however, satisfying to know, that change is a-coming!
What does this have to do with a head injury? Well, funny thing.
When Grace was born I KNEW that our family was complete. I knew it. She was born to be an only child. When strangers would harass us about having only 1 child I would rest easy knowing that it was what we were *supposed* to do. With an only child there's never any arguing, there's no worry about paying for college, family vacations, picking up and leaving for the weekend... you can pretty much do whatever you want. Having 1 child is pretty easy.
If you know us or have read this blog with even modest regularity you know that we have 2 kids. Obviously 1 child was not in the cards for us... Ava was absolutely born to be my daughter. She was born to be in this family and there is not a question in my mind through all of the trials and finding our new way, she is exactly where she belongs.
And still, you are wondering about my head?
There's a little boy in the Democratic Republic of Congo who is hiv+ and needs a mama...
I am certain I didn't fall. I didn't get hit in the head with a soccer ball, get in an accident, have a stroke/seizure/tumor... nothing has happened to my brain that might be cause for concern - except - I want to bring this sweet boy home.
Here are the problems with this plan...
We live in a 2-bedroom house and are full beyond capacity
We just paid for the last adoption
We have no $ to start another adoption
Jason isn't buying into this plan (just yet)
Here is what I know...
I have no control over my life. If this sweet boy is supposed to be in my family then nothing I do (or don't do) will change that.
My God is so much bigger than a 2-bedroom house, no money, and a hesitant husband...
Here's what I don't know...
Can my heart survive?
Will this little boy stay healthy enough to wait for us to come?
Why do I feel God directing me into another adoption now? Maybe
it's me? Maybe I'm imagining "the call" - how do I KNOW this is
what I am supposed to be doing...
More of what I know...
This little boy will succomb to AIDS and die if not adopted. In his country (not Ethiopia) they
have access to NO ARV's. He is not being treated and it is likely he will develop AIDS sooner
rather than later - and though HIV in the US is not really a big deal - AIDS in his country is
a death sentence.
What do you think? How do I sort through this?
Frugal Friday
5 hours ago
7 comments:
I am so not the one to ask because I would say go for it.
Let me know about your fundraisers, we will help advertise them!
Wow!
Nope. No head injury. Definitely sounds like a case of hearing from the Lord.
When I first heard from the Lord that we were supposed to adopt ...
... I already had 10 kids.
... we already had 2-3 kids per bedroom.
... my husband had said many times, "10 is ENOUGH!"
... we didn't have much of a savings acct. at all.
But ... I heard from the Lord. And ... I heard that we were not supposed to adopt one little one. No ... we were supposed to adopt an older sibling group of 3-4 children. Yikes! This information did NOT go over well with the sweet hubby.
However ... when God has a plan, he can even crumble our sweet husband's hearts. Months after I planted the seed, my husband said, "This is them. These are our kids." No more questions. No hesitation.
The Lord knows your timeline. He knows the needs of this sweet little boy. He knows where your husband's heart is. He knows the size of your house and your income. And, thankfully, the Lord knows the answers to ALL of those questions.
Praying for PEACE for you ... WISDOM for your husband ... and FAITH for your whole family as you take each step of your family's journey. Allow HIM to guide your steps, and HE will show you the way.
Hugs!
Laurel :)
Well said, Laurel! Praying for you as you feel God's direction. Praying for your heart and for that sweet little boy.
Really? Do you want me to share what I think about God's plan vs. OUR plan??? I am NOT the right person to ask if you are looking to be talked out of this. As I sit here with a full house, no money, an adoption we HAVE NOT paid off yet, a job I will have to quit, and a little miracle bundle in my belly. Listen to Him, don't put words in his mouth.......but know that at least the God I know and serve is a pretty funny guy.....I think he laughs right out loud sometimes! And just like you said, there is nothing YOU can do to change HIS plan, it will unfold soon. HEY - call me - we are like 4 weeks behind on our Wednesday date night!
Well, I guess I am the only one who says "yes indeed, I believe you have taken a hit to the head!" No, really, listen only to Him. It might mean you need to get a mini-van!
I just checked your blog to see what's new! WOW! Well, I too would say "go for it"...I so believe that God speaks to our hearts and sends certain kids our way. But the pieces will fall into place and God will show you if it meant to be. Meanwhile pray for him. I will too. Blessings, Jill
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